On running for physical and mental fitness

I could feel my anger dissipating as the miles went by – you can’t run and stay mad! – Kathrine Switzer

Week 12 – Fitness/Fueling for Life in 49 Weeks ‘til I’m 50 – Ready, Set, it’s all about A FOCUSed plan to get there!

Welcome back, I’m getting a little late to the start of my day.  I don’t know about you, but I’m finding the spring ahead time change is more difficult each passing year.  We “lose” an hour of sleep, and in my book that is never a good thing.  Approaching 50 I find it tough enough to get uninterrupted sleep due to bathroom runs and hot flashes, but to lose time because I reset a clock seems silly!  Time is already ticking away fast enough.  Last week when the time changed, it threw me off more than previous years.  I was so tired I took a break from writing.  Taking a break from anything is sometimes a good thing, but when it comes to exercise, it’s too easy to slip into non-exercise mode.  Staying physically fit is something you simply can’t let slide as you age.   

This week we’re looking at physical Fitness as our next dimension of happiness turning 50.  Physical exercise can energize you long after the activity.  There’s so much to read out there about being fit, getting fit, and how to stay fit.  I don’t know that I can offer any new secret, other than what they say is true.  We need to stay physically active to maintain and or regain our health if we’ve been slacking in this area.  Finding what works for you is one of the challenges.  When you don’t have some activity that keeps you physically challenged, I believe it can lead to an angered state.  I often wonder if it is the guilt that stays with you because you know you should be doing something to stay healthy or is it the body sending you signal of decline, sometimes to the point you can’t be physical. 

Way back when…you know 20+ years ago, I had chosen walking for exercise.  It helped me relieve stress by taking a break from the daily activities and it helped me maintain my weight.  It was also a social thing for me.  I loved walking with someone and chatting about random things. 

Six years ago this Spring, I just decided one day, I’m going to start running instead of walking.  It was at a time where I was feeling very angry at situations in life.  I was angry that my mom had made poor health choices.  I was angry that I had to take care of her and her belongings because she no longer could.  I was angry that life seemed so out of my control.  In retrospect, the desire to be anger free is what drove me to do something different with my exercise routine.  There were days I simply felt like running away from everything.  With the extra time commitment needed to help her I was getting a bit more strapped for time to exercise.  I had really plateaued in my fitness level.   On top of that I found when turning 40 something, it was the beginning of the body showing signs of not being able to burn off the calories I ate.  I chose to substitute the feelings of wanting to run away with actually running to help me work through anger and all the calories consumed collecting in the form of fat.  

My first run was just a mile.  It felt like that first run way back in high school where the teacher made you run “the mile.”  I was feeling like I didn’t how to breathe at all, and like my chest was going to burst.  I cannot stand to hear myself trying to catch my breath.  The sounds make it even harder for me to breath. 

Slowly over time I gradually got to the point I could run, instead of walk, my normal distance of 2 miles.  It took less time to accomplish the same distance, which saved me “exercise time.”  The path was familiar, a killer hill in the middle, and then back home safely.  I was burning more calories, and feeling new muscles I hadn’t felt when walking.  I was less angry too.  I was convinced I wanted to do more.  So I decided, I’m getting pretty darn good at this, why not run a 5k? 

One Saturday, while it was still pretty cool outside, I put on long underwear (at that time had no idea what Under Armour was), a turtle neck, two shirts and a sweatshirt on top, wind pants and two pairs of socks and I took off out the door.  I ran three miles, carrying all that extra weight in clothing without stopping!  I’m sure the cars passing me by knew I was a total novice.  I was lucky the fashion police didn’t pull me over either.   As I pounded out the steps, I pounded out all the thoughts about how angry I was at so many things.   Being able to physically run a 5k helped me physically and mentally.   Yay for me, I was ready for a 5k with a group of people, not just alone!  

My first 5k was in February, it was cold, but not like this winter.   Again, I fashionably dressed with a wind breaker on top of all other layers.  I’m sure the “runners” in the group knew I was a beginner.   Luckily, I was in good company.  I knew they too were beginners as they were running at my pace.  The positive energy of running with people in a group seems to make it easier in a sense.  I made it.  Accomplishing that first 5k all alone and I was hooked on running for fitness. 

Running also helped me mentally prepare for the visits with my mom.  I took out my stress and anger while running so when I arrived to help her, I brought with me more compassion and patience.  It helped me see her frailness instead of my anger.  As I was growing stronger, she was growing weaker.  I needed to be strong to help her on this new course of decline.  Dementia doesn’t get better with time, it only gets worse.  I couldn’t be angry, I had to have patience.  I grew physically and mentally during that time.  Her fiftieth year of life is when she made choices not to take care of herself and she was angry too.  My 50^th year, I’m making choices to take care of myself.  Who knows what the outcome will be, but my hope is being physically fit will delay the decline of aging and the level of anger in my life. 

Gradually, seeing the positives I was having and the release from stress and anger, my husband became my running partner.  We’ve made running together a part of our life.  When either one of us is on the angry side of things, we know it is best to go for a run.  We enjoy the five mile distance most.  As we age though, simply maintaining a running schedule of 5 miles or less while healthy, we do notice our bodies have gotten used to it.  The body needs some changes in your fitness routine to grow muscles and keep your brain working. 

This Spring, despite the lingering cold and icy winter, we’ve decided to train for a ½ marathon.  That takes mental commitment for sure.  Running 5 miles was more a physical challenge than a mental challenge.  I had a desire to go that far.  5 miles to me seems like a great accomplishment and doable.  Running further than 5 miles is not only physical, it’s mental.   Last week we ran 6 miles.  It was extremely cold out, so we ran it on the treadmill.  To run that far on a treadmill is really a mind over matter.  For me, I can do it, as I can read a book and run at the same time.  If you can’t do that, I’m sure it would be extremely frustrating physically and mentally.  Finding your limitations in a situation, helps you determine your anger level too.  If you’re angry while you start out running, run further until you get to the point where you’re not angry any more.  I always feel better after a run. 

It’s the running outside in nature that really keeps me to run further distances.  Yesterday, we ran 7 miles outside.  Today, I’m feeling the sense of accomplishment and less anger about the stressful week.  The muscles that I hadn’t been using on the treadmill are letting me know I ran further too.  We’re only at the ½ way mark of the training for 13.0194 miles.  That’s going to take time, mental commitment and physical endurance to double the distance of where we’re at.  It’s the right time in life to see if I’m ready for the next ½ century too.  I’m positive my approaching it with less anger is going to benefit me too.

Thanks for stopping by ~ Enjoy your physical fitness routines.   I hope you too find something that works for you!  It’s worth the time commitment, the release of anger, and the physical benefits to your body!

PS – Photography moments of the week.  I'm enjoying the slow melting of the snow.  The ice melting from the roads means the outside running shoes can go on once again.  Life is good!

Ah...melting begins, it's about time!

I can't wait to run outside!

No time to be lazy anymore!  

Thank goodness for my running shoes
and my running partner!  

A foundation of friends

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Week 11 in 49 Weeks ‘til I’m 50 – Ready, Set, it’s all about A FOCUSed plan to get there!  Foundation – Family/Friends

Can you believe it, here we are March is upon us?  Where did February go?  It seems that life is passing by so quickly.  Then I think about the weather and the length of the relentlessness of the cold and snow and wonder if it really is going by that quickly after all?  I don’t know about you, but if I didn’t have my family and friends to help get through this long winter, I’d be lost.  Lucky for me, our relationships are relentless, rewarding, and they continue to bring warmth to my soul.

Human beings are lucky that way.  We are the mammals who can connect with each other on levels deeper than any other mammal.  As we age, our ability to remain connected through different generations is the reward of old age.  I’ve been reading the book, 
“What are Old People For?”  http://www.amazon.com/What-Are-Old-People-For/dp/1889242209

I’m not very far into the book.  It is a fairly thick book guess there’s a lot to say about this topic.  Being too thick to fit on the book holder on my treadmill, I read it in short bursts here and there.  I’m currently on the chapter on how as mammals, we are the only ones who continue to have longevity after our fertility is lost.  As the author states, “The human female possesses a nearly fifty-year longevity bonus that follows the end of fertility…Our postreproductive longevity is a remarkable and distinctly human characteristic.”  That’s wonderful news to those of us who are approaching the milestone of menopause!   During our first fifty years, we form many relationships.  Then we get to enjoy them even longer! 

Our ability to connect with other human beings is a true foundation for well-being.  We are nurtured as we grow by the relationships we have.  An absence of the closeness creates a loss of the gift we have as being a human.  At this stage in my life, I’m truly grateful to be able to look back and to look forward at the same time. 

What are my foundations?  Family and Friends 

As humans, we are born into a family.   Our family nurtures us as we grow.  Some families struggle and some thrive.  I was blessed to experience both.  My parents thrived in raising my brother and me.  They were always there for us.  The struggles in life got the best of their relationship and their marriage didn’t survive. They remained true to our family and us kids.  They never let their divorce get in the way of raising us with love.  My brother was and remains a dear friend to me.  My dad continues to this day to encourage us and help us grow.  While my mom has left our lives, she continues on in our memories.  I’m thankful for all of them for the foundation they give me.  

Growing up, foundations learned at home, encourage us to branch out and discover friends.  Friendships help you grow.  There’s a building of your self-confidence, and you in turn do the same for your friends.  Sometimes, friendships don’t last.  Sometimes they last for a life-time.  I’m lucky to have experienced both.  I have a few close friends from the early years (aka, middle school – high school) that I stay in touch with.  Not as often as we should, but when we do connect, it’s like we were never apart.  I even have some friends who I never thought we’d grow apart, but we have.  For that I am sad, but I do understand life changes us all.  My hope is that it was life that threw the curve ball into the relationship and not something that I did or said that caused the distance.  If it was me, I hope the day will come to make peace and continue on with the friendship.

Outside of my family, the longest lasting relationship I have is with my husband.  We have the real deal type of relationship.  This year we will celebrate our 25^th wedding anniversary.  Our commitment to each other on our wedding day, so many years ago, has grown deeper and richer over the years.  The speed of life definitely throws us with crazy curve balls.  When those moments get the best of us, we stop and remind each other that those obstacles can’t break “us” they can only challenge “us” to persevere.  The “us” is more important than anything we’re struggling with.

When you meet the right person, together, you can endure all the things we do as humans.  Falling in love, marriage, building a home, career building, paying off debt, child-birth, raising kids, losing job(s), redesigning your careers, taking care of elderly parents, death, peri-menopause, balancing work and life, sitting for hours talking, or simply sitting in silence enjoying the companionship.   My husband is my best friend.  I continue to look forward to every phase of our lives together. 

My family foundation grew beyond my husband when we were blessed with two beautiful children, or now I should say, young adults.  The parent child relationship is rewarding beyond words.  The excitement when you first find out your pregnant.  The first butterflies of movement of the infant growing inside you.  There’s nothing like the breath-taking moment when you get to hold the baby for the first time after childbirth.  Every moment makes the journey truly a miracle.  

Looking back, to the early days I couldn’t have imagined a more rewarding experience.  Now, I see, that was just the beginning.  Each milestone they went through, each challenge they encountered and overcame, was just as rewarding for me as it was for them.  Watching them discover their independence and become who they are meant to be is what parenting is all about.  They are truly inspiring to me.  They help me grow every day.  

At this stage in life, I think the best relationships are the ones where it is hard to find the distinct lines of friends versus family.  When you have friends that are like family and family like friends, you’ve arrived at a unique point in life.  There’s a sense of trust and belief in each other through the thick and the thin of life. 

As my kids were growing up, branching out and discovering friends, I was lucky to join them.  The friendships I gained during their growing up years have blessed me with friends that are like family.  When our kids were little, we helped them grow into young ladies.  When the young ladies were going through puberty and discovering who they were, for a variety of reasons, they began to grow apart.  That’s part of growing up, sometimes you’ll stay friends, and sometimes you won’t stay friends.  Their first real fight, we realized that it was important for the girls to work it out, we couldn’t intervene.  We couldn’t make them play nice, we couldn’t tell them to apologize and we couldn’t tell them how to be.  We had to help them grow through it on their own.  We had to let go, it wasn’t our place to make it right.  They had to become who they wanted to be, and it is okay they aren’t choosing each other.  Maybe someday, they’ll reconnect, maybe they won’t.  We had to be okay with the new course in their relationship.  We had a choice to make despite the distance growing between our kids.  

Sitting in the little restaurant booth that day, we, the moms, chose to make a commitment that we wouldn’t let that happen to our friendships.  We wanted to keep our bond through the later years.  We had a different relationship from the one our kids had.  They were brought together by an activity.  While we were brought together by that activity too, we had already been through the growing up years of learning what friendship is all about.  We grew together through those activities and commonalities.  We needed each other on a different friendship level.  We are growing older together.  Our friendship has inherent complexity due to where we are in life. We treasure the bond of being females raising females, and females old enough to go through losses of various kinds.  When you find a friendship that’s the real deal, you know it is worth keeping. 

Females need to have deep, lasting relationships.  I don’t know exactly what it is, but the connection of sharing life’s challenges and successes, the laughter, the tears, the support, all seem to make life easier in a sense.   As my daughters continue to grow into their adult years, I’m enjoying the change from telling them what to do, to being there as a friend to hear what choices and discoveries they are making on their own.  This friendship is one of the greatest rewards of parenting.  I remember feeling that with my mom when she was here, and I still feel it with my mother-in-law.  That is the part I enjoy with my fellow mom friends.  We share our challenges and successes, a great gift to be thankful for!

So what is my random rambling all about this week?  Relationships of family and friends are true foundations for enriched life.  Like I said before, when you find the real deal, you know it is worth keeping. 

Thanks stopping by, enjoy your relationships – if you’re missing them, reach out, if you’re enjoying them, thank them, and always treasure them!   Next week’s foundation – Fitness (Fueling for Life).

PS – Photography for the week.  I have taken the lessons slow this week.   I’m one of those “I’m so sick of winter” Wisconsinites, getting outside to take pictures I definitely something I’m looking forward to.  Until then, there’s the pets and one drift that I’ve found fascinating to watch.  

Total blur...just like the snow storms!

The sunny days are for napping.

Paw...

Sunny spot...

Just right for a nap!

The drift begins.

How far will it grow?

Just far enough to know,
it's best to stay close to the
foundation where
it came from...or some
other weird reason!

Intellectual Inquisitiveness

Curiosity, especially intellectual inquisitiveness, is what separates the truly alive from those who are merely going through the motions. – Tom Robbins

Week 10 in 49 Weeks ‘til I’m 50 – Ready, Set, it’s all about A FOCUSed plan to get there!  Foundation – Fact-Finding.   (Disclaimer...for some reason, last week I thought we were on week 8, when we were really on week 9, so this is really week 10!)

Our Foundation this week is Fact-Finding, a.k.a. Intellectual wellness from the 7 Dimensions of Wellness.  In the Oola book, they didn’t talk about this as one of the 7 F’s, but I’m guessing it is related to their chapter on finding your passion.  If I could describe my passion, it would be learning new things.   I think that’s why I enjoy photography too.  There’s always something more to find out and discover.  Settling on what you find first doesn’t necessarily mean you truly know it all.  If that were the case, there would be only one answer to every question.  What I find intriguing about the learning process is the number of times you can find conflicting as well as supporting “facts” at the same time.  That’s when your brain says, I’m going to simply pick the one that supports my beliefs and that’s what I’ll go with.  Sometimes the further you dig, the contradictions begin to appear, that's when the brain goes into overdrive trying to reconcile the data.  That's when you're thinking and learning something new.   

Let’s take that thought further.  I want to find things that support me in turning 50.  Here’s a stance…I’m looking forward to turning 50.  There must be some cool things about being 50 right?  Luckily for me in comparison to when my grandmother was aging, I have the internet instead of the small local library to find answers.  I can pick a topic, Google it and find answers, theories, facts and fun tidbits to keep me inquisitive.  What questions did I randomly search? 

1. What’s the average age women’s hair turns grey?  Remember I’m still torn about the whole grey hair thing.  This week is the appointment week.  Turns out one answer to the average age of turning grey is 34.  I guess that’s about the age when I started to see more of the salt and pepper look.  If I look back 10 years ago, that’s when I decided I should color instead of going with the more salt than pepper look.  I remember having grey hairs when I was in seventh grade.  Therefore, the facts prove I’m mostly salt now.  One interesting fact I found was:  Hair becomes white over time because melanocytes run low over time and are replaced with air bubbles in the hair bulbs.  Another site said something similar, but more detailed.  http://genetics.thetech.org/original_news/news15  Guess there is definitely something to do with melanocytes that produce or don’t produce the Eumelanin. I must be out of Eumelanin.  Is there any hope to stopping the greying process?  It seems that there is a link to stem cells and Wnt and TRP-2:  http://inventors.about.com/od/gstartinventions/a/Cure-For-Grey-Hair.htm  Do I want to wait 5 years to figure it out?  So what’s the bottom line?  Greying process appears to be inevitable, individual, and a choice if you color or not.  
2. What’s the average healthy weight for a 50 year old woman?   The answer, it depends on your own unique body build.  I love it when my research starts out and on the first site I find that the “average” person they describe fits me.  It makes the math so much easier.  I can then compare the results to my own reality and see if I’m in line or not.   It appears, even better than weight is to make sure that your BMI is in line. Calculate yours here:  http://www.mayoclinic.org/bmi-calculator/itt-20084938  More info here http://www.livestrong.com/article/443381-ideal-weight-for-women-who-are-age-50/    Knowledge is power here…if you’re healthy, then congratulations, you’re doing the right things!  If you’re not, then research further, what can you do to change?  What can you do to improve?  I’m thankful to report that my love for running and my desire to not repeat the poor health choices of my mom have paid off.  My weight and my BMI are in the “healthy range”.  As a side note, no, more of a funny note from the past 30 days.  I completed the BUTT Challenge.  Remember I took before and after shots.   My expectations were met.  I suspected there would be minimal photographic proof.  No…I’m not going to share them, but the photos didn’t lie.  It was so subtle.  The proof was in how the clothes fit different and the strength I feel in my legs and butt.  I think the extra muscles will help with my ½ marathon training.
3. What is a healthy number of calories per day for 50 year old woman?  This one ties into the healthy weight and the amount of activity you do per day.   My current employment is 95% sedentary.  I know that I have to balance that with activity when I’m not at work.  On Saturday, all I want to do is stand.  I also have been adding in standing up while reading emails, stretching often and adding some squats and lunches in while reading emails.  I fortunately work from my home office and my co-workers (aka my pets) find the activity fun to watch.  I find now that the longer the days are where I’m sitting, the more tired I am at the end of the day.  Looking back even 15 years ago, I didn’t feel that tired from sitting all day at work.  What was I talking about…?  It wasn't sedentary life style, must be my butt being sore from typing!  Back on track!  This article has great tips for eating healthy http://healthyeating.sfgate.com/foods-eat-50yearold-women-3829.html
4. So how do you stay healthy as you age?  Keep your brain active as well as being physically active.  Keeping your brain active by being inquisitive about new things, looking deeper into yourself and what makes you tick or not tick as you age, digging for understanding of things you wonder about, all keep you healthy.  Looks like this site has 45 great tips.  http://www.health24.com/Lifestyle/Healthy-habits/45-best-health-tips-ever-20120721
5. Is there such a thing as information overload?  I’ve always prided myself in my ability to multi-task.  But as I’m approaching 50, I find that it is harder and harder to do that so well.  So I wondered if the amount of information coming into me at one time via technology had any correlation to the overwhelmed or confused feelings, or is it related to age? Turns out that our high tech lives do seem to have adverse effects on us.  http://www.mckinsey.com/insights/organization/recovering_from_information_overload

1    While, I’m still amazed at the people who can have either the TV or the radio on while they are doing intellectual work, it is not something I can do.  When I’m cleaning or washing dishes, I love to have the background of music as I do that type of work.  Is it that those activities don’t require my brain to learn something new?  I’ve been doing those activities for so long I don’t have to think about how to them so I can listen at the same time.  I definitely have to focus and not add extra things when I’m doing work that requires me to analyze data.  How about you?  Do you have the radio on, your cellphone ready for the next call, Outlook open with emails notifications popping up as they come in, Facebook open, Pinterest open, your blog open.  Guilty as charged.  I’m sitting here in silence, but I do have all those other applications open.  While doing the research, I sometimes like to take a break and look at the pictures on Facebook and Pinterest to take me away from thinking too hard.  They can be distracting and make it harder to get work done.  But, they are the easy way to keep your brain thinking too. 

Enough information!  I think the key to the Fact-Finding Foundation is to be curious, learn new things, and create the life you enjoy.  Thanks for stopping by, enjoy your intellectual activities!  Next week’s Foundation – Family/Friendships.  

PS – Photography for the week.  Oh my, this week we had two snow storms with a thawing in the middle of the week.  The second snow storm provided beautiful Wisconsin scenery.  I tried so many attempts at capturing the beauty.  No picture spectacular enough to write home about.  But my running window to window to capture was fun for Copper to watch in real life.  Thankfully I have a hero for a husband.  His snow-blower was our best friend this week.  We are both praying for a slow thaw!  

The whiteout begins

Quick, go out there and do your
job...!

Heavy white snow painted the
cedar like a white picket fence.

Copper's dynamic duo - my husband
and his best friend the snow blower.

Quite the work out to remove 3 feet
of wet, windblown snow!

So pretty as it blew across the field.

Where or where is the
rest of the yard?  Copper
can't see over the drifts.

The contrasts of the green, white, blues -
this picture simply doesn't do it justice.

The wind and snow make
amazing drifts!

I wonder how far the drift will extend?  

Fun expectations

Live with intention.  Walk to the edge.  Listen hard.  Practice wellness.  Play with abandon.  Laugh.  Choose with no regret.  Appreciate your friends.  Continue to learn.  Do what you love.  Live as if this is all there is. – Mary Ann Radmacher

Week 8 in 49 Weeks ‘til I’m 50 – Ready, Set, it’s all about A FOCUSed plan to get there!  Foundation - Fun

At this point in our journey to 50, we’ll be focusing on what I call the foundations in life.  In other terms, the dimensions of wellness, Oola, or a healthy balanced life.  There’s a dimension to all of the terms, or at least our application of them in life that I believe is directly related to our expectations of the foundations.  Our expectations seem to me, drive in a sense, the outcomes we get. 

As in any blog I write, I share my opinions regarding either something I’ve read or participated in that triggers my random thoughts or intentions for writing that day.  Earlier this year, I read the book Oola Find Balance in an Unbalanced World: http://www.oolalife.com/book/   

It is fun read.  I found myself drawn into the authors’ stories, and it is inspirational.  I would recommend reading it if you haven’t.  I am re-reading bits and pieces of it to test it out as part of the next 7 weeks.  As I was thinking about my list of foundations, I remembered attending the Wellness session a few weeks after reading the book.  I like the ideas shared regarding the 7 Dimensions of Wellness. 

http://www.ndsu.edu/wellness/wellness_education_services/seven_dimensions_of_wellness/

 

For consistency, I've chosen 7 elements or as I call them foundations.  Some the same as the two references above, some slightly different.  I don’t know that I could argue with either list, I just have my own little twists to the concepts of a balanced life.  

My take is that there is a definitely a combination.  They all use common words to describe a state of a balanced life or wellness.  As someone who is almost 50, I have had many years to test out the theories.  I wonder if there is any connection to the term ‘mid-life crisis’?  Does a person going through a crisis not feel balance in their life?  I’d be shocked if there wasn’t a connection.  I do believe keeping balance helps prevent you from having a crisis.  There might be many “mini-crisis moments,” but if you look close enough, you’d be able to see the imbalance and implement changes to get you out of the imbalance.  I have learned all these years that taking a step back and looking closely for the area that is out of balance is the way out of the imbalance. 

I’m looking forward to 50.  Discovering the changes I see in myself is fun.  I could be depressed by the ones that I didn’t want to change, but seeing them appear as expected is kind of fun in a weird kind of way.  Every day there are subtle physical reminders that I will be 50.  Like the BUTT Challenge to be “completed” in two more days.  I can’t wait to take the after shot, have a good laugh and make the whole experience fun after all.   I know there was an imbalance in the level of muscle tone.  Therefore, I definitely have felt the changes over the duration of the challenge.  Seems simple enough to just do more exercises right?  Last night after 27 days in a row of doing squats, bridges and lunges, I definitely felt the difference and a bit of imbalance.   But that’s just a random thought! 

I wonder if I’m expecting the changes of being 50 and then notice them or if they simply happen and I connect the dots and say, “Oh yeah, that must be something related to my age.”  I know that I have enough experience under my belt (or above as the midsection indicates) that I can recognize imbalance rather quickly.  I recognize that I now have less tolerance for imbalance.  At this stage in life, you too have likely encountered many levels of balance or unbalance. 

The foundations in life are building blocks to success, no matter what age or stage in life.  If you are out of balance in any area, you simply notice things are not “right”.  If you spend too much time working, your family life is affected.  If you spend too much time having fun with friends instead of studying for school, your school-life is affected.  If you eat or drink too much and don’t exercise, your physical well-being is affected.  If you put off something like preparing for your taxes as you go throughout the year, there’s going to be an imbalance and you’ll have to readjust your efforts to get caught up.  

The good thing is you can change the unbalanced portions of life at any point in time.  It might or might not be an overnight change.    Recognizing the imbalance is the starting point.  Acknowledging that you need to change is the next step.  Then take action!  Break it up into smaller manageable parts and make it fun.

Let’s start out with my first foundation – Fun.  Fun to me has been one of the areas I find myself very reserved at.  I’m pretty introverted, so perhaps that’s why I'm reserved?  I do think that I’m a bit out of balance, under-balanced in a way.   One of the changes I decided would help me have more fun was to start blogging.  Blogging helps me become more extroverted without really having the in my face feedback that being in a crowd as an extrovert would give me. One of my other favorite “funs” is photography.  That fun, I can take anywhere.  I don’t even have to have my camera!  I can look around wherever I’m at and take mental pictures.  Seeing the world through lenses of a camera or the lenses of my eyes creates moments of fun throughout my day.  Whenever I feel a bit out of balance, I wonder what it would look like if I took a picture of it.  Or I wonder how I could adjust the camera to make it a unique prize winning shot.  A girl’s gotta dream right?  

Fun is definitely a unique foundation for everyone, but we all have a fun factor need.  I’m sure there are others who might think skydiving is fun, I on the other hand would not.  There is a similarity though.  It is our expectations re: what it is going to be like to do the thing that we think will be fun.  Think about an occasion where you had very high expectations for fun, and it turned out to be an awful time.  Now think about a time when you had very low expectations for fun, and it turned out to be one of your favorite fun days.  

I think it has to do with carefully balancing the level of expectations as you approach situations.  Too high or too low, can and will affect our level of perceived Fun.  What about when you’re getting ready for a trip, you set off and have fun.  Then you come back and dread getting back into the routine you left behind while you were having fun.  Why is there a difference?  Is it our expectations that being away is more fun, or that we expect to have fun when we are away but not when we’re here?  Either way, it is our expectations that change the outcome.  Every day can be fun if we set the expectation that we will have fun.

Do you approach every day with the attitude that it is going to be fun just to be alive?  Or do you approach each day with dread of what might happen that will throw a wrench into your day?  The fun factor helps us maintain a positive attitude and helps us be enthusiastic about life.  It breaks up the monotony too.  What do you do to keep the fun factor balanced in your life?  My challenge for the next week is to see if fun is truly a foundation.  Hope you’ll join me…every day, approach each situation and look for ways to make it fun.  Expect fun, find fun, experience fun!

Thanks for stopping by – next week we’ll look at the next foundation – Fact-Finding (aka, intellectual well-being).  Enjoy your moments of fun – create them if they aren’t there and see if it makes a difference in your week!

PS – Photography moments of the week.  Taking pictures remains fun to me.  Finding new and different objects keeps it fun too.  Here are my Valentine’s fun moments.  I can always count on my husband joining me in creating something interesting out of randomness.  He finds cooking new recipes fun, and I call them photo ops of fun.  

It took a while, but we
created a heart out
of Leinie's beer caps.

Add some wine to the mix, and the creation
grew.  I didn't like how the shadows
of the wine glasses detracted from the message.

Ah, now the Iphone becomes the I in
I love you message.  

Time for a new recipe - sweet potatoe spaghetti.
With the new Spirooli machine.  

Ready set, let's see what happens

Huh, it's working

Wow, that's a lot of spaghetti

Then it leaves these "funny" looking things

So pretty, and delicious too.  Yep, fun
to make, fun to eat, fun to take pictures of!

Cooking up some aphorisms

And herein lies the danger as well as the appeal of the aphorism.  A statement can be so well put that its cogency is entirely dependent on its formulation, but as soon as we reflect on it we may come to another conclusion. – Arthur Krystal

Week 8 in 49 Weeks ‘til I’m 50 – Ready, Set, it’s all about A FOCUSed plan to get there!

Aphorisms for the aging process seems appropriate don’t you agree?  I admire those people who can make pithy comments without apparently thinking too hard.  My husband is like that.  I told him that my blog this week was about aphorisms and wanted his input.  He thought for a moment and said to me, “Don’t bother me I’m pithying.”   Enough said I guess.  He can be such a funny curmudgeon.  Perhaps he should be a main character in this week's blog?

So what does aphorism mean?

"There is nothing more difficult to define than an aphorism." – Umberto Eco

Well, on second hand, there apparently is a definition.  http://www.thefreedictionary.com/aphorism

I think aphorisms are funny.  At 49 approaching 50 it is a perfect time to reflect and eject into the future by noticing the pithy discoveries made along the way.  The things that have made you who you are and prepared you for the future are moments of pithiness.  I also call them moments of joy.

Let’s see if reading some of my favorite “quoted” aphorisms gets us thinking about the past and the future at the same time:

"There is truth in wine and children." – Plato  (Oh boy…I’d say that’s very true).

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." – Sun Tzu   (Very wise statement, how many times in life have you tried to keep those enemies at a distance and it has come to bite you in the ____?) 

"The trouble about man is twofold.  He cannot learn truths which are too complicated; he forgets truths which are too simple." – Rebecca West   (Life in and of itself is complicated.  I think we need to be able to forget something, why not the simple things?  Wait, making life less complicated is by simplifying things…)

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be." – Kurt Vonnegut.  (There are so many things in life I could apply this to.  How about job interviews or job performance reviews -  both as the boss and as the employee; as a student and as the teacher; as a parent or a child; as a 49 year old dressed in 20 year old hand-me-up clothing, but it is a free wardrobe.).

"Expect nothing.  Live frugally on surprise." – Alice Walker  (Think of all the adventures had when the most fun was on a free day at a free event.) 

"The only way to fight nostalgia is to listen to somebody else’s nostalgia." – Pete Hamill  (This one hit home to me when I think back to my own nostalgic feelings of losing my mom as I went through all her nostalgic belongings.)

"Life corrects the errors of logic." – Marty Rubin  (How many times can you look back and say to yourself, “well it seemed like the logical thing to do at the time.”?)

Okay, you get the gist right?  I would say that life presents us with many moments you could coin as an aphorism.  Let’s see if I can write a few of my own as we prepare ourselves for the next phase of this journey to 50.

Last night as my husband (who spoils me daily) was cooking dinner, I thought back to the days when our children were little and I was a stay at home mom.  It took all the energy I could muster to cook one more meal.  It wasn’t that I couldn’t cook it was that I was tired of cooking.  It wasn’t a creative experience any more, it became a chore.  I'd have creative moments after I read a book or two.  One of my all time favorites was Confessions of an Organized Homemaker by Denise Schofield.  http://www.amazon.com/Confessions-Organized-Homemaker-Secrets-Uncluttering/dp/1558703616

My husband was always better at it and would save me on the days when I simply gave up.  I personally was content with a bag of chips and some salsa.  You can’t feed a family that way though.  (Shhh, don’t tell him, but it’s a little secret, both my kids must have seen me do that meal technique enough to embrace it themselves on occasion.).  Oh…there’s a pithy comment, “Well, that’s an interesting technique.”  I’ve said that when I don’t want to offend someone but want them to think about it just the same.  A perfect moment is when the customer service person is less than a customer service person.

Back to my husband and dinner last night, he had gotten to my point of dreading cooking meals now that we are empty nesters.  Remember, I’d be fine with chips and salsa or hummus to add a twist.  Cooking for me is not a challenge.  I’m happy with anything he comes up with.  I guess that could be frustrating if you’d rather have someone who requests a dish to prepare, versus having to come up with something on your own all the time.  Yesterday he found a new website with great recipes that apparently fired him up a bit.

Enter in a new recipe and a new pan and we’re back to that old excitement in cooking.  Aphorism on cooking:  No matter how many meals you’ve cooked, a new pan and a new recipe will make it fun all over again.  It was delicious!  Where was I going with this?  Oh yeah, back to aphorisms.

A few more of my aphorisms for you to ponder:

• You will teach your children as much as they will teach you.
• You will laugh until you cry and cry until you laugh.
• Amorphous piles are created in one’s lifetime.
• The aging process, no matter the medium, has its ruts and grooves.
• The more you do something, the easier it gets. 

Is it just me, (probably), but I think aphorisms are fun and I can write them after all!  Thanks for stopping by, enjoy the aphorisms of your life.  Next week we’ll begin looking at the Foundations to succeed at being 50. 

PS – Photography this week was so much fun for me.  I had the opportunity to volunteer at work to take portraits, still shots and action shots.  I applied the techniques I’ve been learning by shooting RAW with my camera in Manual mode.  It would have been easier to simply set it on Portrait mode, but I kept thinking of Jared’s advice from http://froknowsphoto.com/.   The camera will work better for you if you tell it what to do, versus it choosing for you.  And...volunteer your time to practice what you're learning.  

My photography aphorism:  Practice creates permanence, not necessarily perfection.  I’m permanently convinced I love shooting in the RAW.  

The new pan...cast iron, had to buy it
because the recipe called for it.

Pan seared steaks...what, not on the grill?
Trust me the pan will make all the difference.

Still RAW...can you hear the sizzle of the steaks...?

Zucchini ready for the
chopping machine in the back.

There's the wine...with one of those
amorphous piles of papers in
the background...

Seared to perfection on side one.

Action shot, zucchini transformation.

Sauteed to perfection.

Ah...now that's delicious perfection!

 

 

 

Abundance through letting go

Abundance is the process of letting go; that which is empty can receive. – Bryant H. McGill

Week 7 in 49 Weeks ‘til I’m 50 – Ready, Set, it’s all about A FOCUSed plan to get there!

As I sit here amongst papers and other things far more pressing to do, I really thought hard about why I chose the word Abundance for this week’s blog?  I chose the word weeks ago when I put together my plan for the 49 weeks until I’m 50.  I could be random again and change it up, but that wouldn’t help me stay on track.  I’ve committed myself to this FOCUS plan and darn it, I’m sticking to it.  Just like I’m sticking to the 30 Day BUTT Challenge, and on day 14, I can tell you that I’m feeling stronger.  I’m not ready for that “after shot” yet though.  There’s some abundance left if you catch my drift. 

As a person approaching 50, I can’t help but look around and see the abundance in my life.  My life has been full and rewarding.  I feel truly blessed.   Abundance in the form of life experiences, memories, treasures, knowledge and relationships.   I can look around and see the abundance of records I’ve kept, photos taken, things I’ve bought, and simply the stuff I’ve received or accumulated over the years.  

Abundance is about tuning into what is important in our lives.  If you want to bring more abundance into your life what do you need to do?  I think it is all about focusing on the important things and letting go of the excessiveness in life.  Excessiveness is abundance gone awry.  

I certainly wouldn’t want to give up the intangibles that mean the most to me.   Focusing on each memorable life lesson has helped me grow and learn.   Sure, I’d certainly like to forget some.  Maybe it is just better to let them go to make room for more memories. 

Treasuring memories at this stage in life is important.   As the body ages, normal memory loss does happen.  Maybe it is because of saturation of information we’ve put into it all these years.  With technology and information at our finger tips, it’s easy to have brain overload.   We live by multitasking much of the time.  Is that necessarily a good thing?  http://techland.time.com/2011/04/18/study-multitasking-information-overload-bad-for-you/

We can choose not to multi-task, but it is tough if you have lots of hats to wear and things to keep track of.   I’ve always been pretty proud of being able to multi-task.  One of my favorites is reading while on the treadmill.  I’ve been doing it for so many years, it is normal to me.  Running outside without the book is way more enjoyable and easier to focus on the muscles and the environment.  When I’m at my computer I typically have Outlook, Quicken, Facebook, Pinterest, Google and Blogger as I multitask my way through the tasks at hand.  Lately, I’m starting to wonder if that is why I feel so scattered some days.  Hopefully it is just overload and not the start of age related memory loss.  Choosing to focus on one thing at a time definitely helps me.  

What about age related memory loss?   In 2012 the average number of people with dementia was 1 in 14.  http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=412 

Think about that for a moment…you have 14 close friends and one of them has dementia.  What if you are that one person?  My mom was one of them in her age group.  I remember looking at her friends when they were 50 and seemingly carefree, you know, just like me.   Seventeen years and one stroke later, she was part of the statistics.  She instantaneously lost memories she treasured.  Having watched the disease unfold her and her life, I feel I’m better prepared than she was.  I can definitely do things to prevent a stroke.  I can choose abundance of healthy eating and exercise to have abundant health instead abundant disease.  You can too, it’s your choice.  Let go of the bad habits and make room for healthier choices. 

At this stage in my life, the tangible stuff is where there’s definitely room for improvement.  By the age of 50 how much stuff do people accumulate?  I dread to think of the weight in paper and stuff that surround me.  There is a point where all that stuff is simply too much for my brain to keep track of.  That’s the tipping point where abundance becomes clutter.   It is then time to let go so that you can once again appreciate balance in life. 

Look around where you’re at right now.  At our age, we’ve worked hard to get the stuff we have.  Do you have just the right amount of stuff?  At what point is enough is enough?   Do you feel abundance and blessed or do you feel overwhelmed and stressed?  When you have way more than what you need it is hard to feel as though it is abundance.  It is more out of balance.  

For me, I start to resent the excessive accumulation of stuff when I have more than I need.  Every year, especially at tax preparation time I resent the paper accumulation the most.  Reliving the year through the receipts and transactions reminds me of the blessings in life, and the memories created, but then there’s the paper to deal with.  Where oh where is that book on what to keep and what to throw?  Oh dear…that brings me back to where I started today.  The pile of papers….time to get back to work! 

Thanks for stopping by ~ enjoy the balanced abundance in your life.  Create memories, treasure relationships, and let go of the excess to make room for more of the important things in life!  Next week’s A in A Future being 50 we’re going to look at Aphorism. 

PS – Photography moments of the week.  There's an abundance of snow I could take pictures of, but it was bitterly cold so taking outside pictures didn't sound fun to me.  I chose to focus on my paperwork instead.  I measured the stack and then took all the “important” papers out of the envelopes to see how much waste there was.  It is amazing how much paper really isn’t needed.   I don’t want to clear it out to make room for more papers though.

I’m still playing with shooting RAW in manual mode.  It is making the mundane pictures kind of fun in a way.  I didn’t spend much time with the camera this week due to FOCUS elsewhere.  For some reason, every photo challenge has to take a self portrait.  I tried the portrait setting one day to see if that helps.  I just think my arms aren't long enough to hold the camera.  Here are just a few nonsense pictures I took while learning more about the manual settings. 

Yucky pile of paper...good focus in front and blurred
background.  Boring subject!

Wow - Nearly 6 inches of paper to deal with!

That's better...nearly 3 inches of envelopes and papers
I didn't need and could throw away.

Some melting moments...then it snowed again.

Tons of attempts at selfies...I was trying
to hold the camera instead of using a tripod,
I just don't get it how to make it work.

There's always the cat, the lighting was set wrong,
this is back when I didn't have much experience on the
manual setting.

There's always something to
smile about...no grey showing
through yet!