Uniqueness and breaking free

We can raise our sights high when we’re willing to break free from being conformists who live a conventional life simply because we are too afraid to express our uniqueness. – Alexandra Stoddard

Week #35 - 49 Weeks ‘til I’m 50 – Ready, Set, it’s all about A FOCUSed plan to get there!  Only 14 weeks left.  

Here I am again, taking another random moment to report in on the status of my FOCUSed plan.  Sobering moment realizing how rapidly it is closing in on the end.  I’m not going to focus on the end yet.  Even though the goal is to successfully welcome in the big moment, there’s still time left.  I’m going to encourage myself, and you, to continue to make the journey unique.   

I’m inspired by very special people in my life that are the going through their own unique journeys.  They are inspiring to me, because, they aren’t afraid to say things like, “This is my stress, don’t you worry about my stress, you have enough of your own to deal with, I’ll be okay, just let me do it my way” or “I’ve always wanted one, it marks the turning point in life, I’m letting go of the past and moving forward.”  Those are the defining moments that hit home for me.  I need to recognize each person’s uniqueness, as well as my own and let go.

Doing our own thing is the difference maker in a successful journey.  When we try to copy or replicate what others have done without embracing how we can do it on our own, we bring on undo pressures and take a path with underlying stress.

At this stage in life, as I look around, I can be guilty as charged for taking on undo pressures.  I’ve hung on to things that I’m afraid to let go.   I tend to be afraid to let go of people (aka, my children), simply because, I have all this knowledge about what they don’t know about growing up.  When the rational person in me steps in, I remember that’s what I had to do.  I had to take my own journey and go through all the trials to get me to the place I am today.  I didn’t do it the way I was necessarily told to do.  I was most definitely not a conformist.  I survived, and so will they.  It is kind of fun to watch them take their own unique paths.  I am very proud of them in their ability to say, “No thanks, that’s not for me” or “It’s okay to let it go.” 

“Let it go…but it was free.”  Oh boy, it is a continual work in progress to get over this little fear.  The fear of letting go of stuff, especially “stuff” that might mean something at a day later in their lives.   This empty nest phase is a perfect time to clean house and clear out clutter.  As I watched my youngest, strategically ponder what she wanted to take with her to her first apartment, I had to repeatedly remind myself it is her unique journey, not mine! 

My plan at this stage in the 49 weeks is to clear out unwanted, unneeded and undesirable items.  The original plan was to do that before she moved away, but time flew too quickly.  Now the true test will be if I can be as ruthless as my kids are in getting rid of stuff?  Can I let go of the fear of “they might really wish I hadn’t gotten rid of it, or just hang on a bit longer?”  As I gear up the courage to let go.  I’m trying to not be a conformist and find my own path.  I realize I did take more stuff than I really would have chosen to take.  If only I would have been more selective at the time I might not be in this struggle.

Turning 50 is a perfect time to clean out the old stuff.  Keep only the things you truly love.  As I look at some of the stuff I’ve accumulated, I know I've kept it because it was free.  But I want to be free too.  Free from some gifts from our wedding 25 years ago.  Free from the stuff my mom left behind.  Free from items that I bought on a “good deal” sale or when I was thrift sale shopping years ago.  This is going to be cathartic and freeing.  I’m hopeful that my kids won’t look back and wish I had kept it, whatever the “it” may be as I clear it out.  I know, without a shadow of a doubt, they do not want to be stuck with my stuff at a later date.  

So…let’s get some inspiration going.  I really like the quote above.  When I saw her name, I remembered that when my kids were younger, I read the book, “Creating a Beautiful Home” by Alexandra Stoddard. 
http://www.amazon.com/Creating-Beaut-Home-Alexandra-Stoddard/dp/B001PO657C  

A book I love.  A bear my mom
treasured and left behind.  A chair
pad she left that I never wanted.
A blanket too good to throw...

Imagine that, I still have the book.  I love the book, so I’m keeping it as one of my unique treasures.  Looking at the link above, I see I’ve kept it long enough the copy available now has a different cover.  Do you think the book is a collectable now or worth something?  Screeeeech!  Stop that thinking right now!  Time to get to the real work, stop conforming, and break free.  Free at 50, yep, sounds good to me!  

Thanks for stopping by – enjoy the moments of discovering your own freedom in finding uniqueness!

PS -  Unique photography moments.  All of my flowers are in bloom in their own unique ways.  I absolutely love the glads, but as my husband says, "They are truly a stupid design."  This year my morning glories are struggling to break free from each other to find their own path.  I'm continually amazed at all the opportunities to find unique pictures when breaking free to find a different perspective.  

Yes, a top heavy plant is a strange design.

Upside down angle.

Using the fence to grow.

She sure likes to stick her nose in the frame

Using a fellow garden buddy to get to new heights.

Every which way.

This one used the tiger lily to find its way to the top.

Even a blade of grass as a support.

A lone ranger.

Such pretty flowers when they bloom and stand
out on their own.

Too many cooks in the kitchen, no one can
find their way.

Ah yes, a strange design for sure!

Another day, another adventure just waiting
to be discovered.

Fascinated by uncertainty

Although our intellect always longs for clarity and certainty, our nature often finds uncertainty fascinating. – Karl von Clausewitz

Week #31 - 49 Weeks ‘til I’m 50 – Ready, Set, it’s all about A FOCUSed plan to get there!   Wow, only 18 weeks left.   

Here I am again, randomly deciding to blog about my FOCUSed plan of being ready to turn 50.  I’ve read to be a successful blogger, you’re not supposed to post randomly.  You are supposed to be a steady eddy.  I guess that’s a bummer for me, and you, especially if you are trying to follow this blog for certainty about how to be successful turning 50.  Hopefully you can appreciate the uncertainty of when I’ll be back. 

By nature, the closer I get to 50, the happier I am to blog randomly versus every Sunday at 9:15 am.  I enjoy moments in life where I cut myself some slack.  The nagging reminder of the original clarity of my plan loses out to the frequency of uncertainty about what to write about.   Maybe the certainty of blogging about turning 50 every week is too much of a reminder I will be 50, sooner rather than later.  Yikes, what if that is it?!  Let's just say jumping in to post randomly is more exciting for a random person like me.

What are my thoughts about turning 50 today?  I certainly have my doubts that turning 50 will be any different than how I feel today at the age of 49.  I do keep wondering if there will be some drastic change the day I turn 50?  The uncertainty of the big change is outweighed by some clear thoughts about a few things. 

1. After much thought I’m betting that I’ll still have hair that is continuing on its quest for total grey. There are days I think of the movie, The Santa Clause with Tim Allen.  You know the scene where he tries to color his hair and it turns back to white every time.  All my threats with my hairdresser that we’ll both forgo coloring from that point forward will likely lose steam. I’ll probably still color my hair. 
2. I’m positive that I’ll have a few more wrinkles despite the fact that I’ve found some great skin care products.  I’m hopeful that exfoliating and moisturizing will continue to delay the wrinkle process.  My favorites are from the http://naturals.neutrogena.com/products.  I love these two products:  http://naturals.neutrogena.com/products/pore-scrub and http://naturals.neutrogena.com/products/moisturizer.
3. I’m hopeful my choice to take probiotics will continue on with lessening the effects of hot flashes.  I’m truly amazed at how they have diminished the frequency and intensity of hot flashes.  While I could be totally wrong that there is any connection to them, I’d highly recommend taking probiotics to anyone: http://www.swansonvitamins.com/swanson-probiotics-ultimate-probiotic-formula-3-pack-3-30-ct-bottles-veg-drcaps.  If you’ve had the opportunity to experience hot flashes I bet you can attest to the fact that they don’t really have a pattern and they are definitely annoying and unpredictable.  So I'm betting anything that can potentially minimize them, is worth a shot.  Are you game for the uncertainty and willing to give them a try? 

That’s enough thoughts for one day.  Intellectually, I confess, I am curious about what it will be like to be 50.  All in all, I’m going to hold on to the uncertainty of what it will be like to turn 50 since that is the fascinating part to me.  I do know that even when I arrive at the big 50, there will remain moments of uncertainty in life.  I’m positive they will be balanced by intense moments of clarity.  I intend to make every moment worth it, regardless of the level of clarity. 

Thanks for stopping by ~ may you find joy and clarity in your moments of uncertainty in life.

PS – Photography thoughts for the day.  When in doubt about uncertainty and lack of clarity in my life, I’m triggered to grab my camera and search outside to find something fascinating in nature.   I find that just wandering around the yard to randomly seek out unique angles, or things in nature releases me from the longing to find clarity.  Seasons in Wisconsin change quickly.  As I walk around the yard, I remind myself that in 18 weeks when I turn 50 all the beautiful greens of the yard and corn field will be brown and quickly thereafter snowy white.  Just that realization gives me incentive to spend as much time as I can outside enjoying the growth of this season.  Intellectually, I always want some clarity about what to take pictures of.  But...it is way more fascinating to randomly shoot in the RAW!

I clearly need to buy my daughter some
new shoes!

Photo bombed by Copper

How about a clear and simple marigold?

Clearly I focused not on the flower!

Oops forgot to reset the ISO

A random stick...

I clearly need to weed this garden!

It is windy today!

This corn is loving the weather!

Ah...I love the greens of the season.

Copper trotting back to see what I've found.

Now there's a dog who is clearly
fascinated with the uncertainty of adventure!

A commitment to imagination

The only limit to your impact is your imagination and commitment. – Tony Robbins

Week #28 - 49 Weeks ‘til I’m 50 – Ready, Set, it’s all about A FOCUSed plan to get there! 

Four weeks flew by again! Here I am again committing some time to blog.  Rather, I’m making time to evaluate where I’m at in my FOCUSed plan.  There’s no doubt in my mind I have commitment to follow-through with the plan.  I don’t know if it is the pace of life or the lack of imagination to write about something that blocks me more some days.  Probably both!  

Let’s just go with imagination today.  I have to remind myself I don’t necessarily have to know what I’m going to write about, sometimes I just have to start and see what happens.  I think that’s why I love discovering photography so much.  I’m feeling brave about trying different manual settings on the camera.  I can now commit myself to trying more imaginative ways to hold the camera and see what the impact is from the different angles.  Sometimes just playing with the camera gets my imagination going. 

That’s what it is like as I approach 50.  Looking at it from a commitment to use imaginative ways to embrace the change is one way to keep focused on the positives.  Last time I wrote about my vision test.  I’ve since picked up my new glasses.  I’m happy to report that the choice to jump full steam ahead into lined bifocals was a positive choice.  I would definitely recommend them for anyone who has issues with the progressive lenses.  

On the flip side, what I didn’t expect but have found out quickly is, the lined bifocals are extremely frustrating for arm’s length vision.  Everyday activities like washing and putting away dishes, picking out clothing, shopping in the store, etc. take on a whole different level of blur.   The new blur factor brings about a new meaning to personal space.  If anyone is within arm’s length, they are blurry.  Lucky for me, my husband also has lined bifocals – we don’t mind seeing each other in the blur zone.  Being able to clearly see the computer screen is practically impossible.  I can’t get close enough with the bifocal or if I back up far enough, I can’t see the small print.  

Thankfully, there’s a solution though for those of us who work with computers – occupational lenses.  Perhaps I would have been better off with the trifocals after all?  One step at a time, I’m committed to making this combination work.  I absolutely love having my peripheral vision in the lined bifocals.  I can learn to tolerate the blur zones. 

After all these years, discovering ways to stay committed to accepting changes as they come makes life much easier to deal with.  There’s often something just beyond what we can see that becomes clearer.  Sometimes it brings about the opportunity to be more imaginative.  Just let yourself go with the flow and see what happens.  Occasionally, the blurs in life aren’t that bad after all.  What have you committed to that’s helped you find an imaginative way to make it work? 

Thanks for stopping by – enjoy your commitments, enjoy your imagination, the combination of the two might just surprise you! 

PS – photography moments for the day.  When I was blocked for writing, I just grabbed the camera and asked Copper to join me and we went out for some early morning shots.  I’ve typically tried to not take pictures into the sunlight, today, I purposely did so…a different perspective, a few new discoveries.  I remain amazed at what the camera lenses focus on and blur at the same time. 

The dew on the grass is pretty in the sunlight

What about ground level?

Closer to the ground

Focus on a couple blades

Tipped the camera some

Focused on the middle

Copper joined the fun

Sun went under a cloud

Copper is in focus

Wonder what he saw?

Copper is blurry, close grass is in focus.

Time for another adventure.  Every one of the above
pictures were taken at arm's length and I wasn't
even looking in the viewfinder.  How's that
for imagination?

Mid-life moments aren't that bad afterall

In between all your goals, priorities, obligations and everything else that might appear on one of your upcoming to-do lists, there are moments called life that still have to be lived and enjoyed. – Melchor Lim

Week #24 - 49 Weeks ‘til I’m 50 – Ready, Set, it’s all about A FOCUSed plan to get there!

Wow - We’ve reached the middle mark – ½ way to 50!  It’s June 1^st, and I’m amazed that ½ the year has flown by already.  I’ve been right here through all of it, but I can’t believe it is really June.  Half way through a project is a great time to take inventory of where you’re at, and regroup and find clarity.

I’m still on target with turning 50 – even if I haven’t blogged about it.  Finding enough time to sit at the computer has been more difficult.  My part-time job of being a landlord has consumed much of my “free” time.  Years of neglect by some former tenants has provided us with so many projects for the past 6 weeks.  We’ve had little time to breathe on the weekends.   Our renovation project is over half-way done.  It’s nice to finally see completion of certain areas and the homestretch for the others. 

Another couple mid-point events this week, a “midlife” physical and an eye doctor appointment.  They say it is important to have regular physicals and eye exams.  So I faithfully scheduled the appointments, i.e., made time to do so.  Since I’m not officially 50, I don’t have to do the dreaded colonoscopy yet, oh…but they’ll gladly send me a reminder later this year.   Well, I guess that is something to look forward to later this year. 

Mid-life physical exams can be scary or confirming of best laid plans.  Doctors seem to look for the telltale signs where they need to prescribe something to help you keep healthy.  I’m extremely happy to report that I wasn’t a typical 49 year old patient.  I’m healthy and don’t need to take medications.  So far, my lifestyle choices are helping prevent the very things that turned my mom’s life around at my age.  I’m not diabetic, don’t have hypertension or high cholesterol, and I’m not overweight.  Yippee – I’m here to report that regular exercise and an intermittent fast diet works after all!  http://www.amazon.com/The-FastDiet-Healthy-Intermittent-Fasting/dp/1476734941

Unfortunately, my eyes continued to decline with age, I’m almost at the point of needing trifocals due to the type of work I do.  I’m opting for the occupational lenses instead.  If you have bifocals, you can relate to my pain.  The progressive lenses simply do not work well for reading or working at the computer.  There’s the small sweet spot on the lenses and it is frustrating to work with!  I’ve worn glasses so long I’m not sure what it would be like to not have them.  I’m going to give the lined bifocals a try this time.   I’ll keep you posted, are they better than the progressives or not? 

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit more comfortable with the whole midlife, turning 50 thing.  Partially due to acceptance.  I know I can’t change time, only change how I react to it, why not embrace it and enjoy every minute of it?  I can’t change all the things that life throws me.  At a midpoint in life, there have been so many opportunities to learn how to deal with obstacles and the joys in life.  It’s really kind of nice to know you do get through them one way or another.  

Well…as I look out the window, the rain has let up and the project list still has much to cross off…time to get back to the projects at hand.  I’ll leave you with a few of my favorite midlife quotes!

Thanks for stopping by – enjoy your moments of mid-point in your summer projects!  

• Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you. – Ogden Nash
• The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty.  The young are slaves to dreams; the old servants of regrets.  Only the middle-aged have all their five senses in the keeping of their wits. – Theodore Roosevelt
• The process of maturing is an art to be learned, an effort to be sustained.  By the age of fifty you have made yourself what you are, and if it is good, it is better than your youth. – Marya Mannes, More in Anger, 1958
• Middle age is when we can do just as much as ever – but would rather not. – Author Unknown
• Middle age:  The time when you’ll do anything to feel better, except give up what is hurting you. – Robert Quillen
• Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work. – Unknown
• Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. – Bob Hope
• The first forty years of life give us the text; the next thirty supply the commentary on it. – Arthur Schopenhauer
• Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that’ll get you home earlier. – Dan Bennett

PS - photography moments.  I found a few more settings on my camera that I need more practice on. Yesterday I was complaining to my daughter that I felt like I needed to travel to find something interesting to photograph.  She told me "the best photographers are able to take great pictures right where they are with what they have."  Thanks for the reminder, you don't necessarily have to look else where to enjoy life!

• It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. – E E Cummings

Enjoy the changes of the season.

Try different angles.

Watch out for neglect!

Restored to "usable"

Keep the floors clean!

So many doors to wash....

Brand new baseboards

Look for everyday photo ops

Take a nap

Sometimes there are interesting things
right in your own yard.

Put your feet up once and awhile.

Run like crazy!

Smile!

Put your kids to work to help you!