Unconditional love

I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than real, unconditional love.  You can find it in a simple act of kindness toward someone who needs help.  There is no mistaking love…it is the common fiber of life, the flame that heats our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives. – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Today marks the one year anniversary of my mom's death.  Thinking back over the year, I'm grateful for all the moments of compassion shared with our family.  I'm thankful for the caregivers she had and the compassionate way they loved her too.  While the journey with dementia leading up to her death was long and hard, our unconditional love for each other was the one tie that kept us together.  While death at the moment it happens is overwhelmingly sad, the freedom from a disease isn't sad, it is a relief.  I know in my heart, she's happier free from the confusion and frustration.  Her peaceful and accepting passing remains a beautiful and comforting memory to me.  The lessons on compassion I received during the journey have blessed my life and has energized my passion.  I can't help but think she's smiling and proud of how I've let the experience grow in me.

If you're going through a difficult time with your aging parents or a loved one, here's a poem that I found in my mom's papers.  I've kept it as a treasure, as she wrote it in her beautiful handwriting.  I can't help but wonder if she knew long before the disease was visible to me that she was worried about it happening to her?  She didn't make it to seventy five, the disease took her at 70.  But the poem hits the highlights of what she went through and felt.

Wishing you moments with loved ones while they are still alive - treasure the memories when they are gone too!

I am still a Person

My steps are much slower and unsteady now.

My eyesight gets dimmer each day. 

The terrifying blanks in my mind keep growing

As memories and dreams fade away.

Smile, or look.

Please, notice me.

Let me hold your hand.

Will you stay and talk awhile?

Please try to understand.

All my days now stretch before me,

Full of loneliness and fear.

My youth and vigor have slipped away,

Replaced by the wrinkles I see in my mirror.

The doctor gives me medicine,

My Pastor says his little prayer.

But there's still an emptiness inside

I need to know YOU care.

I can live with my aging body,

After all, I'm seventy-five.

But there's one thing that I do ask

Don't forget me while I'm still alive.

By - C J M

I love you mom!