On running for physical and mental fitness

I could feel my anger dissipating as the miles went by – you can’t run and stay mad! – Kathrine Switzer

Week 12 – Fitness/Fueling for Life in 49 Weeks ‘til I’m 50 – Ready, Set, it’s all about A FOCUSed plan to get there!

Welcome back, I’m getting a little late to the start of my day.  I don’t know about you, but I’m finding the spring ahead time change is more difficult each passing year.  We “lose” an hour of sleep, and in my book that is never a good thing.  Approaching 50 I find it tough enough to get uninterrupted sleep due to bathroom runs and hot flashes, but to lose time because I reset a clock seems silly!  Time is already ticking away fast enough.  Last week when the time changed, it threw me off more than previous years.  I was so tired I took a break from writing.  Taking a break from anything is sometimes a good thing, but when it comes to exercise, it’s too easy to slip into non-exercise mode.  Staying physically fit is something you simply can’t let slide as you age.   

This week we’re looking at physical Fitness as our next dimension of happiness turning 50.  Physical exercise can energize you long after the activity.  There’s so much to read out there about being fit, getting fit, and how to stay fit.  I don’t know that I can offer any new secret, other than what they say is true.  We need to stay physically active to maintain and or regain our health if we’ve been slacking in this area.  Finding what works for you is one of the challenges.  When you don’t have some activity that keeps you physically challenged, I believe it can lead to an angered state.  I often wonder if it is the guilt that stays with you because you know you should be doing something to stay healthy or is it the body sending you signal of decline, sometimes to the point you can’t be physical. 

Way back when…you know 20+ years ago, I had chosen walking for exercise.  It helped me relieve stress by taking a break from the daily activities and it helped me maintain my weight.  It was also a social thing for me.  I loved walking with someone and chatting about random things. 

Six years ago this Spring, I just decided one day, I’m going to start running instead of walking.  It was at a time where I was feeling very angry at situations in life.  I was angry that my mom had made poor health choices.  I was angry that I had to take care of her and her belongings because she no longer could.  I was angry that life seemed so out of my control.  In retrospect, the desire to be anger free is what drove me to do something different with my exercise routine.  There were days I simply felt like running away from everything.  With the extra time commitment needed to help her I was getting a bit more strapped for time to exercise.  I had really plateaued in my fitness level.   On top of that I found when turning 40 something, it was the beginning of the body showing signs of not being able to burn off the calories I ate.  I chose to substitute the feelings of wanting to run away with actually running to help me work through anger and all the calories consumed collecting in the form of fat.  

My first run was just a mile.  It felt like that first run way back in high school where the teacher made you run “the mile.”  I was feeling like I didn’t how to breathe at all, and like my chest was going to burst.  I cannot stand to hear myself trying to catch my breath.  The sounds make it even harder for me to breath. 

Slowly over time I gradually got to the point I could run, instead of walk, my normal distance of 2 miles.  It took less time to accomplish the same distance, which saved me “exercise time.”  The path was familiar, a killer hill in the middle, and then back home safely.  I was burning more calories, and feeling new muscles I hadn’t felt when walking.  I was less angry too.  I was convinced I wanted to do more.  So I decided, I’m getting pretty darn good at this, why not run a 5k? 

One Saturday, while it was still pretty cool outside, I put on long underwear (at that time had no idea what Under Armour was), a turtle neck, two shirts and a sweatshirt on top, wind pants and two pairs of socks and I took off out the door.  I ran three miles, carrying all that extra weight in clothing without stopping!  I’m sure the cars passing me by knew I was a total novice.  I was lucky the fashion police didn’t pull me over either.   As I pounded out the steps, I pounded out all the thoughts about how angry I was at so many things.   Being able to physically run a 5k helped me physically and mentally.   Yay for me, I was ready for a 5k with a group of people, not just alone!  

My first 5k was in February, it was cold, but not like this winter.   Again, I fashionably dressed with a wind breaker on top of all other layers.  I’m sure the “runners” in the group knew I was a beginner.   Luckily, I was in good company.  I knew they too were beginners as they were running at my pace.  The positive energy of running with people in a group seems to make it easier in a sense.  I made it.  Accomplishing that first 5k all alone and I was hooked on running for fitness. 

Running also helped me mentally prepare for the visits with my mom.  I took out my stress and anger while running so when I arrived to help her, I brought with me more compassion and patience.  It helped me see her frailness instead of my anger.  As I was growing stronger, she was growing weaker.  I needed to be strong to help her on this new course of decline.  Dementia doesn’t get better with time, it only gets worse.  I couldn’t be angry, I had to have patience.  I grew physically and mentally during that time.  Her fiftieth year of life is when she made choices not to take care of herself and she was angry too.  My 50^th year, I’m making choices to take care of myself.  Who knows what the outcome will be, but my hope is being physically fit will delay the decline of aging and the level of anger in my life. 

Gradually, seeing the positives I was having and the release from stress and anger, my husband became my running partner.  We’ve made running together a part of our life.  When either one of us is on the angry side of things, we know it is best to go for a run.  We enjoy the five mile distance most.  As we age though, simply maintaining a running schedule of 5 miles or less while healthy, we do notice our bodies have gotten used to it.  The body needs some changes in your fitness routine to grow muscles and keep your brain working. 

This Spring, despite the lingering cold and icy winter, we’ve decided to train for a ½ marathon.  That takes mental commitment for sure.  Running 5 miles was more a physical challenge than a mental challenge.  I had a desire to go that far.  5 miles to me seems like a great accomplishment and doable.  Running further than 5 miles is not only physical, it’s mental.   Last week we ran 6 miles.  It was extremely cold out, so we ran it on the treadmill.  To run that far on a treadmill is really a mind over matter.  For me, I can do it, as I can read a book and run at the same time.  If you can’t do that, I’m sure it would be extremely frustrating physically and mentally.  Finding your limitations in a situation, helps you determine your anger level too.  If you’re angry while you start out running, run further until you get to the point where you’re not angry any more.  I always feel better after a run. 

It’s the running outside in nature that really keeps me to run further distances.  Yesterday, we ran 7 miles outside.  Today, I’m feeling the sense of accomplishment and less anger about the stressful week.  The muscles that I hadn’t been using on the treadmill are letting me know I ran further too.  We’re only at the ½ way mark of the training for 13.0194 miles.  That’s going to take time, mental commitment and physical endurance to double the distance of where we’re at.  It’s the right time in life to see if I’m ready for the next ½ century too.  I’m positive my approaching it with less anger is going to benefit me too.

Thanks for stopping by ~ Enjoy your physical fitness routines.   I hope you too find something that works for you!  It’s worth the time commitment, the release of anger, and the physical benefits to your body!

PS – Photography moments of the week.  I'm enjoying the slow melting of the snow.  The ice melting from the roads means the outside running shoes can go on once again.  Life is good!

Ah...melting begins, it's about time!

I can't wait to run outside!

No time to be lazy anymore!  

Thank goodness for my running shoes
and my running partner!  

A foundation of friends

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Week 11 in 49 Weeks ‘til I’m 50 – Ready, Set, it’s all about A FOCUSed plan to get there!  Foundation – Family/Friends

Can you believe it, here we are March is upon us?  Where did February go?  It seems that life is passing by so quickly.  Then I think about the weather and the length of the relentlessness of the cold and snow and wonder if it really is going by that quickly after all?  I don’t know about you, but if I didn’t have my family and friends to help get through this long winter, I’d be lost.  Lucky for me, our relationships are relentless, rewarding, and they continue to bring warmth to my soul.

Human beings are lucky that way.  We are the mammals who can connect with each other on levels deeper than any other mammal.  As we age, our ability to remain connected through different generations is the reward of old age.  I’ve been reading the book, 
“What are Old People For?”  http://www.amazon.com/What-Are-Old-People-For/dp/1889242209

I’m not very far into the book.  It is a fairly thick book guess there’s a lot to say about this topic.  Being too thick to fit on the book holder on my treadmill, I read it in short bursts here and there.  I’m currently on the chapter on how as mammals, we are the only ones who continue to have longevity after our fertility is lost.  As the author states, “The human female possesses a nearly fifty-year longevity bonus that follows the end of fertility…Our postreproductive longevity is a remarkable and distinctly human characteristic.”  That’s wonderful news to those of us who are approaching the milestone of menopause!   During our first fifty years, we form many relationships.  Then we get to enjoy them even longer! 

Our ability to connect with other human beings is a true foundation for well-being.  We are nurtured as we grow by the relationships we have.  An absence of the closeness creates a loss of the gift we have as being a human.  At this stage in my life, I’m truly grateful to be able to look back and to look forward at the same time. 

What are my foundations?  Family and Friends 

As humans, we are born into a family.   Our family nurtures us as we grow.  Some families struggle and some thrive.  I was blessed to experience both.  My parents thrived in raising my brother and me.  They were always there for us.  The struggles in life got the best of their relationship and their marriage didn’t survive. They remained true to our family and us kids.  They never let their divorce get in the way of raising us with love.  My brother was and remains a dear friend to me.  My dad continues to this day to encourage us and help us grow.  While my mom has left our lives, she continues on in our memories.  I’m thankful for all of them for the foundation they give me.  

Growing up, foundations learned at home, encourage us to branch out and discover friends.  Friendships help you grow.  There’s a building of your self-confidence, and you in turn do the same for your friends.  Sometimes, friendships don’t last.  Sometimes they last for a life-time.  I’m lucky to have experienced both.  I have a few close friends from the early years (aka, middle school – high school) that I stay in touch with.  Not as often as we should, but when we do connect, it’s like we were never apart.  I even have some friends who I never thought we’d grow apart, but we have.  For that I am sad, but I do understand life changes us all.  My hope is that it was life that threw the curve ball into the relationship and not something that I did or said that caused the distance.  If it was me, I hope the day will come to make peace and continue on with the friendship.

Outside of my family, the longest lasting relationship I have is with my husband.  We have the real deal type of relationship.  This year we will celebrate our 25^th wedding anniversary.  Our commitment to each other on our wedding day, so many years ago, has grown deeper and richer over the years.  The speed of life definitely throws us with crazy curve balls.  When those moments get the best of us, we stop and remind each other that those obstacles can’t break “us” they can only challenge “us” to persevere.  The “us” is more important than anything we’re struggling with.

When you meet the right person, together, you can endure all the things we do as humans.  Falling in love, marriage, building a home, career building, paying off debt, child-birth, raising kids, losing job(s), redesigning your careers, taking care of elderly parents, death, peri-menopause, balancing work and life, sitting for hours talking, or simply sitting in silence enjoying the companionship.   My husband is my best friend.  I continue to look forward to every phase of our lives together. 

My family foundation grew beyond my husband when we were blessed with two beautiful children, or now I should say, young adults.  The parent child relationship is rewarding beyond words.  The excitement when you first find out your pregnant.  The first butterflies of movement of the infant growing inside you.  There’s nothing like the breath-taking moment when you get to hold the baby for the first time after childbirth.  Every moment makes the journey truly a miracle.  

Looking back, to the early days I couldn’t have imagined a more rewarding experience.  Now, I see, that was just the beginning.  Each milestone they went through, each challenge they encountered and overcame, was just as rewarding for me as it was for them.  Watching them discover their independence and become who they are meant to be is what parenting is all about.  They are truly inspiring to me.  They help me grow every day.  

At this stage in life, I think the best relationships are the ones where it is hard to find the distinct lines of friends versus family.  When you have friends that are like family and family like friends, you’ve arrived at a unique point in life.  There’s a sense of trust and belief in each other through the thick and the thin of life. 

As my kids were growing up, branching out and discovering friends, I was lucky to join them.  The friendships I gained during their growing up years have blessed me with friends that are like family.  When our kids were little, we helped them grow into young ladies.  When the young ladies were going through puberty and discovering who they were, for a variety of reasons, they began to grow apart.  That’s part of growing up, sometimes you’ll stay friends, and sometimes you won’t stay friends.  Their first real fight, we realized that it was important for the girls to work it out, we couldn’t intervene.  We couldn’t make them play nice, we couldn’t tell them to apologize and we couldn’t tell them how to be.  We had to help them grow through it on their own.  We had to let go, it wasn’t our place to make it right.  They had to become who they wanted to be, and it is okay they aren’t choosing each other.  Maybe someday, they’ll reconnect, maybe they won’t.  We had to be okay with the new course in their relationship.  We had a choice to make despite the distance growing between our kids.  

Sitting in the little restaurant booth that day, we, the moms, chose to make a commitment that we wouldn’t let that happen to our friendships.  We wanted to keep our bond through the later years.  We had a different relationship from the one our kids had.  They were brought together by an activity.  While we were brought together by that activity too, we had already been through the growing up years of learning what friendship is all about.  We grew together through those activities and commonalities.  We needed each other on a different friendship level.  We are growing older together.  Our friendship has inherent complexity due to where we are in life. We treasure the bond of being females raising females, and females old enough to go through losses of various kinds.  When you find a friendship that’s the real deal, you know it is worth keeping. 

Females need to have deep, lasting relationships.  I don’t know exactly what it is, but the connection of sharing life’s challenges and successes, the laughter, the tears, the support, all seem to make life easier in a sense.   As my daughters continue to grow into their adult years, I’m enjoying the change from telling them what to do, to being there as a friend to hear what choices and discoveries they are making on their own.  This friendship is one of the greatest rewards of parenting.  I remember feeling that with my mom when she was here, and I still feel it with my mother-in-law.  That is the part I enjoy with my fellow mom friends.  We share our challenges and successes, a great gift to be thankful for!

So what is my random rambling all about this week?  Relationships of family and friends are true foundations for enriched life.  Like I said before, when you find the real deal, you know it is worth keeping. 

Thanks stopping by, enjoy your relationships – if you’re missing them, reach out, if you’re enjoying them, thank them, and always treasure them!   Next week’s foundation – Fitness (Fueling for Life).

PS – Photography for the week.  I have taken the lessons slow this week.   I’m one of those “I’m so sick of winter” Wisconsinites, getting outside to take pictures I definitely something I’m looking forward to.  Until then, there’s the pets and one drift that I’ve found fascinating to watch.  

Total blur...just like the snow storms!

The sunny days are for napping.

Paw...

Sunny spot...

Just right for a nap!

The drift begins.

How far will it grow?

Just far enough to know,
it's best to stay close to the
foundation where
it came from...or some
other weird reason!