Random Thoughts by Shelley: Anticipation girl's style

But if we learn to think of it as anticipation, as learning, as growing, if we think of the time we spend waiting for the big things of life as an opportunity instead of a passing of time, what wonderful horizons open out! – Anna Neagle

Welcome back to 49 weeks of preparing to turn 50. This is the 2^nd “A” in our 7 weeks looking at A Future. This week’s FOCUS is about Anticipation. Anticipation by definition means “feeling of excitement about something that is going to happen or the act of preparing for something.” What do you experience when you are anticipating things? Do you look at them as opportunities or simply wasting time? Standing in line at the store, anticipating checking out, sometimes feels like a waste time. Other times, anticipation can be exciting.

How many times have you waited for something to happen and you’ve been nervous? For women in particular (sorry guys) there are two hormonal milestones that make us stand out from men. The big one is a girl’s first period (i.e., menstrual cycle). I grew up in the time it was taboo to talk about it let alone ask questions about it. I went to a very small grade school with a one room library. When I was about to take the big leap into womanhood, the PTA meetings consisted of how they were going to ban and prohibit their children from reading Judy Blume’s book “Are you there God it’s me Margaret.” She was brave enough to touch on it in her controversial book http://judyblume.com/books/middle/margaret.php

My mom didn’t really talk about it with me. Despite anticipation having been one who did get to read the banned book, I was less than prepared. When I was blessed enough to have graduated to the big stage, being helpful the only way she knew how, my mom bought me the horrific panties with belts inside and the mini (well…rather large and uncomfortable) pads that were to go inside. Talk about scary! No wonder they didn’t want girls to read about the experience.

Let's fast forward years later to my daughters' experiences. As a mom, I hope I was a bit more open and let them ask questions. Luckily for them they didn't have to experience the belted panties. The creation of the stick to the panties version had appeared, with wings and much thinner to boot! Oh, and there were tampons for beginner kits readily available. They also taught about it in school to help them with their anticipation and preparation.

I guess the big difference was the openness about that time of the month. For them it was so matter-of-fact and open, so much so, I was even horrified for a brief moment in time. When I was growing up, it was a secret time of the month. Not them, they openly shared it with their friends and even their boyfriends. Jeez…I wonder what Judy Blume would title the book now…. “Oh God…not prepared again, anyone got a tampon?”

As I approach 50, I’m anticipating the bittersweet transition from menstruating to menopause. Nowadays it’s common for women to talk openly about that big change. It is bittersweet because of all those years anticipating and preparing for the time of the month, it had become, in a weird way, a comfortable routine. I’m anticipating the time when it is no longer part of my life. A bit scary, but there's the excited feeling of never having to go in that aisle again in the store, just think of the cost and time savings! Secretly I'm hoping that the incontinence aisle isn’t necessary for 20 more years either. The precursor to that change is the exciting roller coaster of emotions splashed with sweat from the hot flashes. Ah…now we’re talking eh? And of course, there’s always the anticipation of not having to worry about getting pregnant…

The next big moment in a women’s life is that of child birth. The it from above going away prevents that opportunity from ever happening again. Again, a bittersweet thought. I remember fondly thinking about the anticipation of the moment. Waiting, and waiting until the time when my body was ready to give birth. Such a beautiful personal experience. Having been blessed twice, it makes me aware of the extent of the beauty.

Now those thoughts are replaced with the anticipation of thinking about being a grandmother someday in the distant future…I’m not really ready for that moment yet!! But when the time is right, it will be nice to relive the moments of birth watching someone else experience the joy and anticipation. I can watch the moments with eyes of a beholder instead of feeling my eyes pop out of my head during labor. It’s not really that bad ladies…just trying to put some persuasion in to my words of I can wait longer to be a grandmother!

Both big milestones are due to our wonderful hormones. They can drive a women’s life if you let them, or you can learn to deal with them. I’d say if anything it would be nice to be prepared for a hot flash instead of simply anticipate it and get caught off guard. Same as when I chose natural child birth, I'm not choosing hormone replacements for this new stage. Not for everyone, but it works for me. I'm just dealing with the sweats best I can. Growing up, it wasn’t cool for a girl to sweat. I avoided anything that would cause me to sweat, especially in front of guys. Now, my favorite thing is to take a run and give those crazy hormones a chance to sweat free and legit. I hear exercise is a great way to deal with hormones no matter what age you are!

Other times though, I have been unsuccessful in predicting as well as preparing despite all the anticipation of the wondrous hot flash moments. Layers, layers, layers are a girl’s best friend. I’m like my daughters though. While, I don’t remember my mom talking about hot flashes at all, I am the first one to announce their arrival and cool down as I peel off the sweater. The same sweater I’ll need a few minutes later to cover up the chills. A fun book to read to help get you into the mode is called “Hot Flashes from Heaven”. I enjoy her take on this new adventure. http://www.ronnasnyder.com/

I don’t know what being 50 will really bring, but I’m anticipating the changes as great ones to look forward to. FOCUSing again on the future, learning how my body responds to the changes, adding a little reminiscing of the past to show how much I have grown is the best way to anticipate the changes.

Thanks for stopping by – enjoy your moments of anticipation! Next week, we’ll look at the third “A” – Ambitions.

PS…for my photography moments of the week, I looked carefully for moments of anticipation. I thought about taking pictures of the “girl’s only aisle” at Walmart, but chose not to. How does one capture anticipation in pictures? Now that’s a challenge!

Oh dear, I must confess, I’m having a hot flash of embarrassment. As I look at my SD card I’ve got “nothing”. I was experimenting with the manual mode and accidentally got it stuck on the BULB mode. I had to research what that meant, how to get it unstuck, and finally I can venture off and try to find some more things that depict anticipation. I think I need another cup of coffee…or maybe I need to take a run to legitimately sweat!